{Image: Condescending by Catherine Roach}
It’s been a long term… okay not really that long, only 10 weeks, but it has definitely had its trying moments. That’s what you get when you work with the special kids though – trying moments. As well as the odd giggle and the booyah-fist-punching-we-did-it break-throughs.
Which is why when I stumbled across this list of Useful Condescending Phrases I just had to share it with you (thank you to whoever compiled this list – I couldn’t find your name, so if you know who you are please leave a comment).
(A pre-PS: phrase number 4 has a special resonance for me – because when you work with an Autistic teenager, you start to see the world a little differently as well.)
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Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
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The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
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I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
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Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
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I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
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I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
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What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
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I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
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I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
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I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
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It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
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Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
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No, my powers can only be used for good.
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How about never? Is never good for you?
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I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
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You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.
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I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
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I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
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I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
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Who me? I just wander from room to room.
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My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!
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It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
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At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
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You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
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I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
No .21. Me. Enough said.
Great list.
I can relate, Kellie 🙂
T xo