Tag Archives | motherhood

taking stock #14

black and white beach and surfer photograph

so, life got away from me….

Taking stock is a month late. In between appointments with the Boy and getting the Girl moved into her new place, the truth is that I simply forgot all about it (even though I have a blog post calendar and ‘taking stock’ was clearly marked for last month!).

When I realized, I pushed it back on the calendar, because I really do enjoy these posts.  They’re a chance for me to look forward and back at what has been happening.  A chance to catch my breath, remember to eat the elephant one bite at a time and know that regardless of how much life gets away, I’ve still got a damn good one, and for that I am thankful.

So, a month late.  Here it is – taking stock #14.

Making: raspberry jelly.  Jelly has been my evening sweet treat lately – and yes, it’s the Aeroplane variety
Cooking: cooking….. arrrrgghhhhhh.  I. Am. So. Over. Having. To. Decide. What. Is. For. Dinner!
Drinking: water, water, and more water
Reading: Smith Journal.  I’ve started picking it up for my Boy because he enjoys the articles, and anything that can get a boy reading is worth buying
Wanting: another weekend on the coast with my Girl
Looking: for….
Playing: the iPod in the dock – music ranging from jazz and the 70’s through to gangster rap and electronic dance
Deciding: that enough is enough
Wishing: I lived closer to my nephews…. seeing video of their hijinks is great, but I’d love to be there in person
Enjoying: the quiet
Waiting: for our next appointment with our new functional medicine GP.  It’s so exciting to have found a medical professional who wants to help and heal you, rather than push pills or tell you it’s all in your head
Liking: that we still are having cooler nights
Wondering: if the weather will ever warm up though!
Loving: that my Girl has settled into her new life in her new town
Pondering: what next year will bring
Considering: the options
WatchingThe Vampire Dairies with my Boy.  Just about finished Season 1.  It’s fun sharing these shows with my kids now that they are old enough
Hoping: for a treatment plan that will halt the progress of my Boy’s disease
Marveling: at how the mind of our new GP works – you could see the cogs turning as she talked to us
Needing: a decent night sleep
Smelling: the raspberry jelly I just made!
Wearing: socks over feet rubbed with Happy Feet cream (it’s a mixture I make myself, and it makes my feet happy)
Following: the news
Noticing: how if I plan my top 3 priority tasks for the day, I seem to get a lot more done
Knowing: that there is always tomorrow to do more
Thinking: about how I haven’t dusted for a few weeks now.  Or ironed.  And how it’s bothering me but it’s not
Feeling: tired a lot
Admiring: the strength of women… mums in particular
Sorting: through stuff in cupboards…. still….
Buying: or bought. A new bed for the ‘spare’ room (feels so weird saying that!)
Getting: ready for after school pickup
Bookmarking: Dear Mama.  A photographic appreciation of motherhood.  Well worth a look for all mums.
Disliking: how this time of year gets so busy
Opening: a can of worms
Giggling: I told you last time… I don’t giggle
Snacking: on crystallized ginger
Coveting: the definition of covet is ‘yearn to possess’ and I really don’t covet anything… I have all I really want or need
Wishing: that it was next weekend already… my Girl is home for a few days
Hearing: the wind in the trees through the open back door

In the comments, I’d love to hear:

Do you ever get sick and tired of cooking!?

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Do You Walk Around Naked in Front of Your Kids?

{Image: Naked Woman Statue Art by JuanJ on Flickr}

As the kids grow up, their level of approval for nakedness is declining.

We’ve been a clothing optional family since Hubs and I first met.

I’d been pyjama-optional since my teens (pyjamas are something to be taken away on holidays in case the place you are staying in happens to catch fire through the night) and being naked (behind the privacy of my closed door – I am so not in to nudist camps or anything like that!) was perfectly normal to us.

Which didn’t change when we had the kids.

Like all little kids they delighted in pointing out the differences in anatomy.

Girly bits became known as the yoni (which is Sanskrit for vagina), while a penis was a penis (no fancy names here, but if you’re curious in Sanskrit it is lingam).  Nothing was hidden behind clothes or closed doors, and none of us blinked an eyelid when we would strip out of wet swimmers at the beach.

But now as they’re getting older, I’m finding that I have to accommodate their changing needs.

While neither of them are adverse to seeking me out when I’m in the shower or standing at the bathroom vanity while I do make-up in bra and undies – it’s their own nudity that’s becoming the issue.

The Little Man is almost 10.  He’s not yet going through any significant body changes, but he’s been known to blush mightily if he has to discuss his ‘privates’ in the company of others.  He’ll streak from the bathroom to his bedroom if he forgets his pyjamas and there’s no public free-snaking allowed.

The Beautiful Girl is 14 now and there is absolutely no public displays of nudity on her part.  She’ll shriek at anyone who enters the bathroom while she’s showering and wet swimmers have to be remove safely behind closed doors or a strategically placed towel.

So will there come a time when I stop being naked around my kids?

Probably not.  It was my body that bore them.  My breasts that fed them.  Everything will continue to sag, but I’m still proud of it’s achievements and love it wrinkles, sags and all.

At the same time though, I’ll acknowledge that my kids are needing their privacy.

Which leads me to the question Joanna asked… How many years can you be naked around your kids before it becomes inappropriate?

What are your thoughts on being naked around your kids?  Or do you think your kids would be scarred forever to see you starkers?

Please share your thoughts below or leave a link to your own blog response!

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{Speaking My Mind}The Choice of Motherhood

Me No You

I almost didn’t have children.  By choice.

Obviously I changed my mind (and now count being a Mum as one of the most rewarding aspects of my life), but I can understand the motivations of women who, by choice, decide not to have children.

Recently I posed a question to one of my best mates – mum to four and mother hen to 15-odd getting-back-on-track teenage boys.

“Do we villainise women who don’t have or choose not to have children?”

Because for women now, having children has become a choice.

Back in the days before contraception not having children wasn’t a choice.  It was a given.  Children were your legacy.  The continuation of the family name – they helped with the family farm or business, and would take care of you in your old age.

Childless women were pitied – called ‘barren’ and referred to as ‘spinster aunts’ – because no man wanted to marry a woman who couldn’t conceive.

With feminism, contraception and advances in medicine, came choice for women.

A choice about whether to marry, or to continue with a career.

A choice about when to have children.

A choice about how they will become a mother when their own bodies won’t allow them to do so naturally.

For me the realisation that I needed to be a Mother occurred when I held my baby niece.  I knew then, as I cradled that squirming bundle of my sisters joy, that I needed to take that next step.  It was a deep-gut feeling.  A make or break decision.  And I made the choice to become a Mother.

I had been Maiden.  I had been content to skip over Mother.  And one day I would be Crone – because you cannot halt the ageing process.

Within 6 weeks of stopping my contraceptive, I was pregnant.  I don’t know what would have happened had it not happened that way for me.  I have seen the faces of girlfriends and family as they talk about their struggles to conceive, to carry a pregnancy… to become a Mother.

So what does a childless-by-choice woman of today feel when she sees swaddled babies, cute munchkins wearing crocheted moustaches and prima-toddlers in tutus?  Does her biological clock start ticking in her ear, screaming at her “Procreate now before your eggs dry up.” Or does she think “Cute, but what’s the fuss about.”

What does she think as she sits in a restaurant – trying to eat her meal in peace, as the toddler at the next table whines and throws a tantrum.

And does the childless-by-choice woman realise that the furtive-and-filthy glances she receives from the mother of said toddler are probably not contempt at the fact she does not have children, but envy at the fact that she is able to sit there and eat her meal un-interrupted…

What are your thoughts?

As a Mother or a childless woman – do you respect the choices of your counterparts?

Do you sometimes wish you had made a different choice?

And are you guilty of casting those furtive-and-filthy glances?

{This controversial comment was sparked by a discussion around a photograph posted by Colva W on Pinterest.  Said photo and comments have since been removed.}

{Image: Me No You from lucaskrech.com – courtesy of David deSilva of lightpaintsapicture.com}

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