{me} Being Just a Little Bit Naughty and Condescending

{Image: Condescending by Catherine Roach}

It’s been a long term… okay not really that long, only 10 weeks, but it has definitely had its trying moments.  That’s what you get when you work with the special kids though – trying moments.  As well as the odd giggle and the booyah-fist-punching-we-did-it break-throughs.

Which is why when I stumbled across this list of Useful Condescending Phrases I just had to share it with you (thank you to whoever compiled this list – I couldn’t find your name, so if you know who you are please leave a comment).

(A pre-PS: phrase number 4 has a special resonance for me – because when you work with an Autistic teenager, you start to see the world a little differently as well.)

  1. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  2. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
  3. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
  6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
  8. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
  9. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  11. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
  14. How about never? Is never good for you?
  15. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
  16. You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.
  17. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
  18. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
  19. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
  20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
  21. My toys! My toys! I can’t do this job without my toys!
  22. It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
  23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
  24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  25. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  26. Someday, we’ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
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2 Responses to {me} Being Just a Little Bit Naughty and Condescending

  1. Kellie April 5, 2012 at 8:50 AM #

    No .21. Me. Enough said.

    Great list.

    • Tasha Chawner April 5, 2012 at 1:12 PM #

      I can relate, Kellie 🙂
      T xo

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